[Eyeliner]

I have to see my scars every time I get in the bath or shower, every time I get dressed or changed. Having to deal with your scars is one thing, having to deal with other peoples’ reactions and responses to your scars is another. I know that my scars don’t define or change the person that I am. I am still me and they are a part of me. I am in the process of learning to accept that. Whilst I am in control of my own feelings towards my scars, I cannot control what other people think or feel when then see my scars. I may be wrong about these opinions, due to my tendency to try and read peoples’ minds, but I am so afraid of people staring at me or the comments or questions I might get when people see my scars. As far as I am concerned, the cause of my scars is obvious and I can’t pretend that they are something else, even though I would love to. Part of me would love to pretend that my scars aren’t there…..Go out wearing a bikini with my arms and legs out like any other 22 year old would, but unfortunately I cannot, because I don’t doubt that people WOULD look at me.  My friends at University have asked me, when the sun has come out, “why don’t you take your jumper off?”, and I have replied by saying I am cold, or any excuse to not to have to remove my outer layer. Anyway, I don’t want to have to lie about the reasons why I cannot dress for summer like everyone else can but I do fear that acceptance and understanding of self-harm is still poor, and I really hope to help it improve.