[Nail varnish]

There is nothing glamorous about self-harm. I find it so difficult to find things to wear when I go out with my friends, things that are appropriate for a night out, but things that cover my scars. I am scared that this is going to get so much harder as it starts to get warmer. Come summer I am going to really struggle to dress in a way that covers my scars but doesn’t draw attention to the fact that I am trying to hide something. Even when I am around people who know about my self-harm and my scars, I do not want to parade around with them on show.

I often feel when I do go out, dressed like any other young woman I know, I am putting on a mask. Putting on a glamorous façade that conceals the sadness and pain I feel when I see my scars. Whilst it feels great to cover up my scars, pretend like they don't exist, and carry on like everybody else, I am so afraid of what people might think when the cover of glamour has gone and what's left is the reality of the damage I have caused to my body.

  

Self-harm: A silent addiction

[Biro]

[Nail varnish, paint, and marker pen]

One of the most difficult things to overcome when trying to recover from self-harm is the mind-set what does it matter? The damage is already done….

Scars can make you feel like damaged goods. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel that way some of the time, or even a lot of the time, but if you get into the habit of saying to yourself ‘It doesn’t matter if I cut or burn one more time because I am already covered in scars’ then what motivation will you ever have to stop? Yes, some damage is already done, but don’t let that be a reason for making the damage worse.

I look at my most recent scars and they do make me sad. Part of me thinks, ‘What would make somebody do that to themselves? That’s awful’ and I think these would be my thoughts if I saw scars on other people, but then again, self-harm has become so normal to me. Having to visit A & E to be pieced back together again does not strike me as a big deal, but if people who do not self-harm find out, they find it shocking. I think it is really important to challenge yourself when you start to feel like it is normal, or OK to self-harm, and in a way, receiving shocked reactions from people who do not self-harm is important and a helpful reminder that self-harm is not a healthy behaviour. 

Together we can...

[Wound dressings and nail varnish]

Just a little something to show my support for self-injury awareness day, which was yesterday.

There may only be one day dedicated to raising awareness about self-harm, but self-harm is a battle that many of us are fighting everyday and if we keep fighting we can break the silence of self-harm and stamp out the stigma that goes with it.